I found it.

The targeted ad that made me mad enough to write about it. (Yes, I am fully aware I haven’t written anything since 2019. Time is a construct, amiright?)

It wasn’t an obnoxious video or a cringy commercial. It was this freakin’ thing:

THIS is a customers’ most-loved style? THIS looks like the dirt cloud found around Pig-Pen in Charlie Brown. THIS looks like the person photoshopping simply gave up…or somehow forgot about shadows, highlights and edges. How did THIS get uploaded to the world’s largest e-commerce website?

Is this clickbait? Is it intentionally bad so people will click on it? WORKED FOR ME!

When I calmed down to finally see what this could possibly be, I opened to see it was actually a tulle evening skirt and let out a disappointed “Oh.”

I *have* been searching for skirts, but come on. Couldn’t Amazon tell from my snack orders and shampoo selections that I’m not quite a tulle evening skirt kind of girl?

I will say other parts of the internet can surprise you. Immediately after closing out Facebook in shame, I headed over to Instagram and was immediately served this ad:

I suppose I should be thankful that I’m getting targeted ads for clothes (and skincare and acne medication 😖🥺😭) over things that I’ll never buy.

Keep trying, Amazon Fashion! You’ll win me over some day.